What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

{RING} {RING}

HELLO

How do you say "have fun" in French?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Can shaving hair by Veet in our vagina cause diseases?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Sure no problem officer.

After a few moments he returns.

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

How do I complain on a boy coming to marriage with me without my involvement despite no connection with him though he had an illegal affair?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Yes sir it is.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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